Cancer Comic Strip

My name is Suzan St Maur and I've had cancer twice. I find that humor helps me get through my cancer, and from what I understand it helps many others too. This blog is dedicated not to information about the disease, but to cancer warriors and their relatives/friends who just want some cheering chuckles. By all means share your funny stories and jokes with us - email them to suze @ suzanstmaur.com (If you want to know more about me see my profile on here or http://HowToWriteBetter.net)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Test results ... oh, why are we waiting?

Just got back from chemo and as usual am covered in dog hairs, courtesy of Bradley the Golden Retriever Guide Dog with whom I sat on the floor of the waiting room before I was called in.

Well, the place was busy and there were few free chairs - also Bradley seemed in need of a cuddle (doesn't he always?) And I wanted to chat to Margaret, his owner.

She's had a bad time since her first double whammy of "CMF" (the second half of our chemo regime consisting of Cyclophosphamide, Methotrexate and Fluorouracil - she wrote, copying from her little hospital book) and her test results had come back with big no-nos written all over them. Having arrived before me she was ushered into the treatment area and then ushered straight out again, well pleased because she now has another week to get stronger before the next assault. Exit woman and dog, grinning.

Meanwhile my test results had come back just about OK so eventually I was called in and spotted my next-door neighbour, Barbara, once again ... she's a haematology patient and they share the facility with us chemo kiddies. So we had a brief catch up on local gossip before I was hitched up to the drip and off we went.

But waiting for test results can be stressful, can't it? Especially for this poor fellow...

~~~~~~~~~~

A man suspected of a serious infection is lying in bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr Wallace, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The Head Nurse was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so she marched over to inquire what was wrong.

"Nurse," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse of long-standing, the Head Nurse was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pyjama bottoms, moved his willie out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pyjamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with your testicles!!!"

At this the man pulled off his mask and asked again, "I SAID.... Are my TESTS RESULTS BACK .....!! ???"


~~~~~~~~~~

All good wishes! SUZE

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