Ah, alternatives ... aren't we lucky to have them?

When I was first diagnosed with cancer and declared it publicly, a great friend - experienced in these things already - warned me to beware of people emerging from the shadows with weird and wonderful remedies for almost any medical problem, most of which would bear little resemblance to those prescribed by conventional medics.

Having no problems about contemplating alternative supplements and therapies that help compensate for the inadequacies of our modern lifestyle, I'm pretty well disposed to new ideas regarding any of the issues we have to deal with every day. Not just cancer, but life in general.

However there are a few of these notions that really strike me as a bit OTT. Am I being unreasonable? See what you think of the following ...

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** If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

** Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

** Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

** For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

** A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

** If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

** Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

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Have a great week!

SUZE