Cancer Comic Strip

My name is Suzan St Maur and I've had cancer twice. I find that humor helps me get through my cancer, and from what I understand it helps many others too. This blog is dedicated not to information about the disease, but to cancer warriors and their relatives/friends who just want some cheering chuckles. By all means share your funny stories and jokes with us - email them to suze @ suzanstmaur.com (If you want to know more about me see my profile on here or http://HowToWriteBetter.net)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Poem for the Holiday Season: "Twas The Night Before Chemo"

The following poem also appears on BreastCancer.org's humor boards - click here to view - posted by Binney. I thought it was great so have shared it here too. Unfortunately I can't trace the original poet but thanks so much, whoever you are!

~~~~~~~~~~

T’was the night before chemo, when all through the room
Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume.
The chemo bags were hung on IV poles with care,
In hopes that a cure soon would be there.

The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs
Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears
And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig
Had just settled down for another chemo gig,
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass.
Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze
The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease.
When what to my wondering eyes did I see?
Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee.

Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet
With a mission of cancer that they would beat.
To help with side effects from chemo we blame
Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name:
"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!
Let's offer comfort with bon bons and magazines.

On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! and Morphine!
Let’s make them all loopy and cause a big scene!
To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope
Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope
With tumors and lesions and lumps, it is clear
We must make their cancer finally disappear!"

So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew
With a sleigh full of drugs and the good doctor too.
Then with a jingling I heard from their purse
Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse.

As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the vent the came the doc with a bound.
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples so merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.
He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie,
And he preached to the patients, “Do not ask why.
Have courage, choose hope and just think positive.
Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative.
Never forget that you're heroes in my book
Conquering cancer without a second look!"

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back,
He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work
Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk.
A human pin cushion, I had become
So multiple pokes, again I succumb.

But then I remembered, my life he was saving,
So I realized I better start really behaving
"What comes around goes around" I always say.
And a bad attitude might haunt me one day
I thanked him for fighting with me side by side.
With two against one, cancer cannot hide.

Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the air vent he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign
To travel the world fighting cancer like mine.
The sleigh held our hope, and he was the driver
Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor.

I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!


~~~~~~~~~~

Brilliant stuff, isn't it? I'm going to print this out and recite it at our local oncology unit while I'm having my next chemo session this week...Sz.

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