Grania's party trick

I haven't actually asked her permission to tell this story but I know she won't mind (will you?) ... anyway my double-mastectomy pal Grania here in England has created the ultimate vacation party trick.

Having bought a selection of bathing suits/swimming costumes with inbuilt foam prostheses, she set off recently with her husband for two weeks' sunshine in a luxury resort on a Mediterranean island.

Most days, with a deadpan straight face she would step up out of the swimming pool, go up to the poolside bar, order a gin and tonic in a loud voice and simultaneously wring out both her "boobs" leaving two puddles, one roughly in front of each of her feet.

The sound of clinking ice cubes would, without fail each time, be preceded by the plops of several lower jaws hitting the jaunty mosaic floor.

...wish I had been a fly on the wall...