Cancer Comic Strip

My name is Suzan St Maur and I've had cancer twice. I find that humor helps me get through my cancer, and from what I understand it helps many others too. This blog is dedicated not to information about the disease, but to cancer warriors and their relatives/friends who just want some cheering chuckles. By all means share your funny stories and jokes with us - email them to suze @ suzanstmaur.com (If you want to know more about me see my profile on here or http://HowToWriteBetter.net)

Friday, September 22, 2006

Bradley and Margaret are media stars


You will probably recall the lovely blind lady, Margaret, with whom I shared many a chemo session (see archives) ... along with her beautiful guide dog Bradley the Golden Retriever.

Anyway imagine my delight when I saw this recent article in my local newspaper, the Milton Keynes Citizen...

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Margaret joins the village people!

A blind woman recovering from cancer is the first of hundreds seeking a home at Willen retirement village to be allocated a place there.

Sixty-two-year-old Margaret Helsey and partner Ray Wall will live in a two-bedroom apartment overlooking communal gardens when they and 350 other residents move into Lovat Fields next summer.

Margaret said: "It's been a tough year but this news has put me on a real high. I was crying when I was told."

She says she and her partner will not feel so "isolated" in their new surroundings and she will be able to call on special support if needed.


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I've lost touch with Margaret now that we've both finished chemo, but I'm sure you'll join me in wishing her well should she visit CancerComicStrip.

And at the top of this post is the picture that goes with the newspaper article, reproduced by kind permission of the Milton Keynes Citizen ...

Isn't Bradley gorgeous? You can see now why I used to return from my chemo sessions shared with Margaret and Bradley covered in dog's hair...

Now, to round off today's post with a funny - well, this ain't called CancerComicStrip for nothing - here is my favourite doggie joke, excerpted from my very own joke book called "Canine Capers" (if you'd like to buy a copy, and I do need to sell some books now and again to help pay the bills so it would be nice, click here if you're in the UK and click here if you're in the USA. Most of the other Amazons carry the book too.)

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At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians realised that, if they continued, before long they would finish up by destroying the world. So they discussed the issue at a top secret summit meeting and decided to settle the whole argument with a dogfight.

The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The winning dog would earn its country the right to rule the world. The losing country would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest, fiercest Dobermans and Rottweilers in all of the Soviet Union. They cross-bred them and then crossed their offspring with the fiercest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from the final litter, removed all the other puppies and left the lone dog to grow strong and large. They used steroids and rigorous training in aggression and ruthless killing power. Finally when the five years were up, they had a dog that oozed murder from every pore and had to be restrained in cage made from steel girders. Only the trainers could handle this beast, and even they had to exercise extreme caution.

When the day of the final fight dawned, the Americans arrived with a bizarre animal. It was a nine-foot-long Basset Hound. The Russians pitied the Americans. None of them thought this weird dog stood a chance against the growling monster in the Russian cage. Bookies around the world lay very short odds on the Russians winning in a matter of seconds.

The cages were opened and the dogs released. The Basset Hound waddled towards the middle of the ring. The Russian dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant sausage-dog.

The moment the two dogs met, the Basset Hound opened its jaws and consumed the Russian monster in one mouthful. There was nothing left but a few tufts of fur from the Russian dog's tail.

The Russians walked over to the Americans, blinking their eyes in disbelief. "We cannot comprehend. Our foremost scientists and trainers laboured for five years with the strongest, fiercest Dobermans, Rottweilers and Siberian wolves. They created a killing machine."

"You don’t say," the Americans replied. "Well, we got our foremost cosmetic surgeons labouring for five years to make a crocodile look like a Basset Hound."


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Have a great weekend! SUZE

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