Hysterics at today's poke and peek...

Having had a bit of time off where the bladder cancer is concerned, today I attended a routine "poke and peek" (a.k.a. a flexible cystoscopy) at the Treatment Centre of our local hospital here in the UK.

I was greeted by my now good friend and consultant/specialist Mr A and was invited to lie down on the table in preparation for the procedure.

"Have you had a flexible cystoscopy before?" asked the nurse, whom I had never met.

"Yep, many times," I replied.

"Well," she continued, "please would you get into the correct position?"

This, as bladder cancer warriors will know, means on your back with legs akimbo.

"Oh," I replied, "you mean like they say in American police dramas when they arrest someone ... 'spread 'em?"

Now, I have to confess that I did dramatise that sentence in the way that most writers-cum-closet-actors do, and this would appear to have been effective.

The nurse concerned got a fit of the giggles that went on for many long minutes, and held up my procedure quite noticeably.

Happily the other staff in the procedure room - including my lovely, lovely Mr. A - were laughing so hard that the delay didn't matter.

Here I must offer my apologies to our UK National Health Service for wasting doctors' and nurses' time ... but hey. It was worth it.

And the outcome? A possible recur, maybe yes, maybe no, but at least I can keep my bladder until January 2009 - hey, that's better than the alternative.