"Oh-no" moments with breast prostheses ... who's got the funniest story?

Further to Barb Grengs' wonderful experience when her dog ran off with the lightweight "boobie" and shook it to death, I recalled another one after my mother had her mastectomy some six years ago.

On a hot summer's day, lightly clad, she leaned over our garden pond to show the neighbour's children where they might see frogs and newts. As she did so the (obviously not secured) prosthesis plopped out of her top and landed, glutinous and trembling, on a lily pad.

"Goodness me, what a big frog!" my mother chuckled through gritted teeth, grabbing the offending amphibian and carrying it off out of sight. "I'll just put him in the bushes ... be right back."

Then the other day my breastcare nurse told me about one of her other patients who, permanent prosthesis in place, sat next to a man at a dinner party who spent some time telling her how off-putting and sexually discouraging breast surgery was to a "real man" like him.

During a few minutes' respite while he was out taking a comfort break, she removed her prosthesis and plonked it into his unfinished bowl of fruit salad. When he returned she excused herself, saying she was now going to the ladies, and reminded him to be sure and finish his dessert.

Come on, there must be many more such stories, so please share them! Then if we gather enough we might publish them in a book entitled "150 other uses for breast prostheses" ... what do you think?